


Change the Channel

by commonghost



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, I really hope you like this, Mentions of Suicide, Mild Language, and for that i am eternally sorry, and thank you val for the title, anyways yes thank you val for the prompt youre the best, but i did some decent editing for once, dw alex doesnt do anything, his classmates are just awful, i hate ao3's spaces between lines, like. bro, listen i only reread this like 6 times, mentions of drug use, no beta we die like men, or do im not your mom (lupin is), so there might be some spelling errors here and there, the formatting is awkward though, uhh this is bad dont read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27916345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commonghost/pseuds/commonghost
Summary: Alex had wiped the tears away from his eyes. It wasn’t even that bad, it wasn’t even the worst thing Alex had gone through and yet for some reason the fact that Tom had even participated and hadn’t told him was the last straw.Alex didn’t understand. He didn’t want to.----Written for Valaks prompt: "It doesn’t take much for Alex to find out that his class has a server they use to chat during school hours. It’s not exactly a secret. It hurts to know he’s not a part of it but it’s whatever. He tries to be above it but can’t resist grabbing a laptop to take a look, just to see if he’s been brought up. He has his own channel. With pictures and timelines and and hurtful, brutal, hateful barbs. The worse part is when he sees Tom in there not defending him, not necessarily saying anything bad, just joking around."
Relationships: Tom Harris & Alex Rider
Comments: 42
Kudos: 122





	Change the Channel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Valaks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valaks/gifts).



> Heyo! This is my second ever published AR fic, wow. It's pretty bad, but if you want to read it, thank you! I spent a substantial amount of time on it and I hope you enjoy reading it like I enjoyed writing it!  
> As the summary says, this is a gift for Valaks based on one of the prompts they sent on the discord.
> 
> Val, if you're seeing this, please accept our compliments. (And thank you for the title.)  
> But really everyone go read everything Valaks has ever written it's worth it.

Alex had first heard of the server from whispers before homeroom - mentions of “she said he said” and “oh my god, did you hear what happened?” were becoming more and more common. And it wasn’t hard to put two and two together once Alex realized that he, in fact, did _not_ hear what happened, which even he had to admit was out of the ordinary.

He ignored it, at first. Alex had other things to think about, and this entire server situation wouldn’t do anything for his failing grades. But he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of things his classmates were getting up to. And as much as he didn’t want to think about it, why hadn’t anyone invited him? Tom could’ve at least _mentioned_ it. He wouldn’t have joined, but to have had the option would’ve been nice.

He wouldn’t bring it up, though. It might make things awkward between him and Tom. And besides, Tom had probably just forgotten to tell him about it. Who knows, maybe Tom hadn’t even been invited himself, even if he’d been chatting with Andrew the day before despite never talking to him up until now. Maybe he’d just thought Alex wouldn’t have been interested.

But after a couple of weeks of being back at Brooklands from Six’s latest family-friendly adventure, it was getting difficult to ignore all the whispers and giggles and references and _I’ll-tell-you-later_ s. There were entire conversations going on that Alex had no idea about, and it was starting to get to him. After so much time spent out in the field, it was difficult to sit back and let things simply _happen_ without knowing about them. Like there was an itch that he just couldn’t reach and the only way to satisfy it was knowing every exit in the building before even stepping in - and knowing everything that was being said inside the building. Just to top it all off.

And Alex had to admit he was wondering what his classmates had to say about him. All the stares and silent, judging eyes were slowly becoming more and more unbearable as time went on, and he’d be an idiot to say otherwise.

Ever since last weekend, it felt like they’d increased ten-fold. And if Alex had to guess, it was because of something said in the class discord.

It was only late at night when Alex had the time to actually check the server, he’d spent the past hours catching up on school work and having dinner and whatever else Jack had told him to do. But he’d finished all his work, so now he could get on with it and see what was being said.

Alex had ‘borrowed’ Jessica Wilson’s computer earlier during last block - she already had three, Alex doubted she’d care or even notice if one went missing - and opened the server as the clocked ticked closer to midnight.

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to find. Maybe some gossip and some general chatter, but not _this_.

The server was genuinely well-organized (which surprised Alex - he’d seen how a lot of his classmates acted and to be completely honest, he wasn’t all that impressed with their organization skills) with a fair amount of different channels, ranging from general chatter to frog images. The one that caught his eye, though, was #Alex-Rider.

Alex would be lying if he said he hadn’t expected anyone to be talking about him, but he sure hadn’t expected an entire channel dedicated to him and him _only_.

Alex was aware that seeing what was being said about him was a terrible idea. That it would be better to just forget about the entire situation and turn off the computer and sneak it back to Wilson in the morning. But Alex was nothing if not a curious little shit, and so he went and looked anyway.

He doubted any real harm could be done with a couple of nasty school rumours.

And so Alex read what was being said about him - the rumours, the warnings, the jokes, the awful things his classmates were saying about him, the _photos_ \- and he knew even more that he should close the channel and never look at it again, but for some reason - most likely his curiosity that would end up getting him killed one of these days - he kept reading.

He kept reading even after people had been discussing what kind of drugs he’d been taken ~~_“heroin” “no dumbass thatd ruin his physical appearance” “coke?” “that too” “hes probably just high on painkillers”_~~ and even after people had debated if he was depressed and if he’d off himself _“ ~~its so obvious have you seen him?” “yeah hell probably just kill himself one of these days” “god i hope it happens soon.”~~ _ and even after people had debated how he’d go through with it ~~“ _you think hed shoot himself?” “hed probably jump off the school roof” “isnt he into drugs though? maybe hed overdose”_.~~ He should’ve stopped, he knew that, but he desperately wanted to know what was being said about him, what had made all his classmates stare - he couldn’t help it, and anyone else would do the same, wouldn’t they?

That’s when he found the previous weekend’s conversation.

> supermegahell: rider’s back in school. i dont really like him that much tbh

> apple juice: yeah hes such a bitch. i heard he was involved in drugs

> supermegahell: oh please everyone knows he does drugs and besides hes probs in a gang

> jammy1: hey guys you know what i saw while we were changing for gym

> apple juice: spill

> supermegahell: 👀 👀 👀 👀

> jammy1: he has these crazy ass scars on his back right?

> supermegahell: really?

> jammy1: yeah they look like burns almost

> applejuice: you only know what burns look like from atla

> jammy1: fuck off

> jammy1: anyway here i took a photo

> jammy1: [img0.png]

  
  


Alex wanted to puke.

There, on full display, were the ugly burns Alex tried his best not to see in the mirror. The ones Alex tried to not even _think_ about because if he did Alex could swear that he felt the jet fuel and the flames on him again burning away at his skin and- 

_‘Deep breaths, in and out, push it to the back of your mind and keep going. You’ll deal with it later.’_

At least now he knew why James and a lot of other students had been giving him judging - and sometimes pitying - looks. But it was even worse, that way. Because _James Hale_ had taken the picture and _James_ had shared it and _weren’t they supposed to be friends?_

But, still. He hadn’t known anyone had taken _photos_ of his burns, or of him in general. Someone should’ve had the basic decency to tell him. _Anyone_ should have that kind of decency.

  
  


> supermegahell: holy shit

> xx_epicking_xx: you think their from gang shit

> braindeadenglishlit: *they’re

> applejuice: wait is that real?????

> xx_epicking_xx: fuck off jen i said what i said

> andrew_1: yeah i saw those too wtf is he up to

> applejuice: gang shit what else

> supermegahell: wait maybe tom knows about this?

> xx_epicking_xx: oh yeah there friends right?

> braindeadenglishlit: *they’re

> xx_epicking_xx: ffs jen stfu

> andrew_1: @samuraiking get in here loser

So Tom _was_ on the server. And he hadn’t even invited Alex to see what was being said about him.

Had he seen the photo? Had Tom seen a photo of him _changing and showing his scars_ and reacted by saying _nothing?_

Alex felt the urge to punch something rise with every text he read as he scrolled. He didn’t understand why Tom wouldn’t have told him, surely he would’ve realised that this was just plain _wrong_ , right? 

Alex could feel tears prick the corner of his eyes. This wasn’t fair, Tom should’ve told him and James shouldn’t have taken a photo in the first place.

> xx_epicking_xx: @samuraiking

> xx_epicking_xx: @samuraiking

> xx_epicking_xx: @samuraiking

> samuraiking: what tf do you want

> samuraiking: also stop spamming

> xx_epicking_xx: @samuraiking

> xx_epicking_xx: k chill

> supermegahell: hey tom you know alex right

> samuraiking: yeah

> samuraiking: oh come on guys wtf

> xx_epicking_xx: hes just rlly fkn weird okk

> xx_epicking_xx: like

> samuraiking: that doesnt mean you should take pictures of him changing wtf guys

> jammy1: i was just worried

> jammy1: but what tf is wrong with him hes so weird

> jammy1: like ik we were friends before but this is just getting out of hand

> samuraiking: idk anything about that tho

> supermegahell: rlly?

> supermegahell: you two seem close tho

> samuraiking: yeah but

> samuraiking: you know how he is

> samuraiking: he doesnt tell me anything either

> applejuice: yeah hes kind of a weirdo

> andrew_1: oh yeah def

> andrew_1: he just creeps me out

> samuraiking: yeah

> samuraiking: hes really weird lol

> applejuice: you think hes a creep too???

> samuraiking: sorta lol

> samuraiking: i mean hes a nice guy but he can get really weird

> samuraiking: but he can get annoying sometimes tbh

  
  


Alex stopped reading and closed the laptop. He didn’t want to see any more of what his classmates had to say about him. Or at the very least what _Tom_ had to say about him.

Tom was just joking, right? He would’ve said something to Alex if he _really_ thought Alex was a creep, right? But he could’ve at the _very least_ told Alex what happened! This was about Alex - and besides, Tom had seen the photo James had sent, he should’ve told him. There weren’t any excuses for staying silent about this kind of bullshit.

Alex could distantly feel himself shaking. It wasn’t even that bad. It really wasn’t, but...

Did Tom just _not care_ about these kinds of things? Did Tom think it was fine to forget to mention the fact someone had photographed Alex _while he was changing_ and sent it to a group chat? He would’ve had to have known Alex wouldn’t be okay with this happening - not to mention he should’ve told Alex about the entire goddamn channel in the first place!

What kind of friend didn’t tell their mate about the awful rumours and photos spread about him?

He’d ask Tom about it tomorrow, maybe. Yeah. What the hell had Tom been _thinking_ , not telling him about any of this? But..Alex didn’t get why he’d ever say anything like _that_ . Did Tom really find him annoying? Did Tom really think he was a _creep?_

It wasn’t even that big a deal, it really wasn’t - it was only a couple jokes, he should be mad at James, he’s the one who sent the image but for some reason the fact that Tom had even bothered to say anything at all…

Alex had wiped the tears away from his eyes. It wasn’t even _that bad_ , it wasn’t even the worst thing Alex had gone through and yet for _some reason_ the fact that Tom had even participated and _hadn’t told him_ was the last straw.

Tom knew Alex was still recovering from his last mission and that he was barely sleeping trying to catch up on his school work and not trying to fail and yet he _still_ went behind his back to joke about him to a bunch of other kids and didn’t tell him someone had _photographed_ him-

Alex didn’t understand. He didn’t want to.

At that point it had been too late to hold the tears in, but the very least he could do was try to not wake Jack up. 

Alex crawled inwards on himself, planted his face in a pillow, sobbed as quietly as possible, and hoped he’d fall asleep soon.

He didn’t.


End file.
